The Kama Sutra is known worldwide as a manual for how to have sex. Of course, many of us choose to opt for the classics when we bone. Some sex positions, however, are so strange and difficult that it’s hard to believe anyone has ever attempted them at all. Well, we figured it was time. Below are reviews of eight of the Kama Sutra’s strangest sex positions.
Number Eight: The Bridge. Look at that. Just look at it! Not only does this require the man to do some sort of reverse backbend, but it also involves the woman just, kind of, chilling on top of him. That’s one way to really highlight who’s in power. It’s also quite possible this position was the origin of the phrase “bent over backward.” Seriously, this position is physically impossible.
Number Seven: The Lustful Leg. This looks slightly easier – if you’re a dude. However, it requires an exceptionally limber lover, so you will have to take that into account before trying it. Unfortunately, while this was easy for me, my sex partner derived no pleasure. Major fail.
Number Six: The Propeller. This one looks hilarious, but it’s actually quite dangerous. The woman lays on her back, while the man gets on top of her, facing away. It might be reminiscent of the good ol’ Reverse Cowgirl, but trust – it’s much more complicated. Unfortunately, because the logistics required my member to bend in ways it physically cannot, there was no liftoff with The Propeller.
Number Five: The Rowboat. This one looks easier than it actually is. The male half of the sexy time lays down, and the woman inserts him inside her. The male then sits up and entwines his legs with his partner’s. And that’s just about where it stops. I found it extremely difficult to get any momentum going, and I even found the position kind of comical. It really wasn’t sexy at all.
Number Four: The Suspended Scissors. Try this if you hate the person you’re sexing! Lie your lady on her side (part of her will be dangling off of the bed). The guy should then get between her legs, straddling her “bottom” leg until he can enter. The sex involves him holding her top leg while she supports herself with her hand on the ground. It should be no surprise that this one was not physically possible for me.
Number Three: The Landslide. What the what?! I was so confused by this graphic image that I had to look further. To maneuver into this position, the woman should lie down on her stomach as the man walks, crab-like, behind her until his butt lines up with hers. The man can then enter her…if he is physically capable. Again, this position is nearly impossible to achieve if you aren’t a member of Cirque du Soleil.
Number Two: The Supernova. This one looks simple. Finally! Something I can actually do. The man should lay down on the bed, leaving just the bottom half of his body supported. He should support himself on the ground or with a propped up pillow. The woman then sits on the man and goes for it. In theory, it seems vanilla compared to some of these other ones, but in practice, I almost passed out. There just wasn’t enough blood flow to my legs, and my ears began to ring.
Number One: The Ape. Yeah, the name says it all. Though the image doesn’t reveal anything necessarily ape-like, you’d be an ape to attempt this without considering the possibility that you will fail miserably. And that’s exactly what happened.