Top 12 Dumbest Laws in American History (Part 1)

brennancenter.org
brennancenter.org

Our wonderful country is known for a lot of things, unfortunately, dumb laws happen to be one of them. When you think of dumb criminals you usually think of morons trying to steal an ATM machine (it never works people, give it up) or dullards who write their bank robbery note on the back of their personal check but, occasionally, it’s the law that’s dumb, not the offender. For instance:

Number Twelve: In Alabama it is completely fine and legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street as long as you have a lantern attached to the front of your car. And the reasons not to visit Alabama just keep on coming…

Number Eleven: In Connecticut, it is illegal for imbeciles (their word, not mine) to marry other imbeciles. Which candidate plans on making this a national law? That’s who I’m voting for!

Number Ten: In Massachusetts it’s illegal to make clam chowder with tomatoes. It should be illegal to make clam chowder with tomatoes everywhere.

Number Nine: It’s illegal to dispose of used razor blades in Connecticut. So, what, exactly, are you supposed to do with them?

Number Eight: In Maine, if your Christmas decorations are still up after January 14th you will receive a fine. Maine, here I come!

Number Seven: It is a legal requirement to drink milk in the state of Utah. Let me get this straight – alcohol was illegal until, like, an hour ago, but milk is a requirement?! What if you’re lactose intolerant?

This is it, right? I mean, the crazy, stupid laws are a few relics here and there leftover from a less enlightened time, right? We’ve grown as a country, evolved from the random and archaic circumstances that led to the creation of some of these laws, right? Yeah, keep telling yourself that. While I’d love to tell you that I had to look far and wide to bring you these “gems” the sad truth is, there are many, many, many more where these came from. (Honestly, how surprised are you?). Turns out, our county is a wealth of useless…well, let’s just say pointless and random is something this country does really, really well. The good news is that there are more off the wall laws for us to laugh at! Stay tuned for part two of this list, coming soon!

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