If you read part one of this article about the creepiest children’s toys ever made, you’ve already been made aware of the fact that amidst the innocent world of My Little Pony and Play-Doh, a weirder, darker side of toy manufacturing exists. A lot of play products have been created that you almost can’t believe are actually intended for children, and we’re here to tell you about the creepiest of them.
Number Five: Mr. Buttons
He has the familiar, non-threatening shape of a teddy bear, and what kid doesn’t love those? There’s nothing too disturbing or scary about Mr. Buttons until you take a gander at his very human looking teeth. If there’s one thing I would not have wanted sitting on my dresser and staring at me at night when I was a kid, it’s this doll.
Number Four: You Can Shave the Baby
Yes, you read that right. Now you can shave your baby figurine. Made in Japan, his doll comes with a funky orange afro, hair on the ankles, and even in the crotch region. Sounds like fun, right?
Number Three: Elmo Knows Your Name
Okay, so Toy Story made the concept of toys coming to life seem pretty cool, and I think all of us who watched that as children have had that thought, but I can’t that this is what I had in mind. The name of this product alone is enough to give me the creeps, and probably give children nightmares.
Number Two: Pole Dancer Doll
A doll exists for any career a little one might be aspiring to, whether it’s doctor, lawyer, or professional horseback rider. But why stop there? This doll comes with a disco ball, cute outfit, blinking strobe light, and a stripper pole. This is wrong on so many levels, and too weird to be anything but true.
Number One: Avenging Narwhal Playset Toys
Why settle for cuddling with stuffed animals at playtime when you can add impaling helpless creatures into the mix? Choose between an adorable little penguin, a fuzzy koala bear, or a baby seal to murder with your narwhal horn. If I had a child that found joy in this toy, I might be a bit concerned. We hope you enjoyed this list of the top 10 creepiest children’s toys ever made!