Amy Schumer is the reigning comedy queen of the moment. With her brutally honest jokes and her relatability to most young people, Amy tends to have everyone laughing at her standup and her comedy TV show. But the comedian is even hilarious when interviewed. Here are the top eight funniest interview quotes from the hottest female comedian on the block.
Number Eight: Amy Schumer On Her Sudden Fame
“I truly feel I’m getting a lot of attention right now and it’s just a ticking time bomb. Like, I wonder what the thing is going to be that will make people want to burn me at the stake.” Our favorite comedian is not only hilarious, but she’s also humble. Silly Amy, you’ll be famous forever. We would never burn you.
Number Seven: On The Pressures Of Constantly Being Gawked At
“Oh my God. I’ll cross my legs.” Honestly, the girl’s got a point with this one. It must be tough being famous and always having to be aware of whether or not your hoo-ha is showing. Way to keep it real, Amy.
Number Six: On Hanging With Fellow Famous People
“I’ve had some famous people say, ‘Let’s hang out.’ And I’m like, ‘I can’t. I just want you to like me too much.'” Too real, Amy, too real. That’s how we feel about you! Except you’re not actively trying to hang out with us…yet.
Number Five: Schumer On Getting Tied Down
“It’s hard to date people, even when you like them, when you just want to be on the fun bus.” I’ve honestly never heard the “fun bus” phrase, but it’s so accurate I can’t even. Getting tied down to one person is awesome in some respects, but Amy totally nails it when it comes to why it’s also the worst.
Number Four: On Kim Kardashian’s Butt
“It’s hard to really wrap your head around what’s going on with Kim Kardashian. She’s the closest thing we have to Marilyn Monroe—I’m sure she thinks about that every day. And she has an ass that you need to consider. You can’t just glance at it. You need to take some time and think about it, you know?” Damn, Amy, that’s the most philosophical yet hilarious point about Kim Kardashian that’s ever been said. Her ass really does demand to be considered.
Number Three: On Being A Lady
“The best advice my mother gave me was to ‘be a lady.’ But I never really knew what that meant, and obviously didn’t take to it.” God Amy, you really are all of us. Who wants to be a lady, anyway?
Number Two: On Her Lady Business
“My vagina’s right where it should be.” In case anyone was wondering, Amy is on top of the placement of where her vagina needs to be at. We can all go back to living now.
Number One: On Loving Herself And Getting Some
“I’m probably like 160 pounds right now and can catch a dick whenever I want.” Preach girl, preach! Arguably one of the most hilarious and awesome quotes ever said, Amy proves that weight isn’t anything but a number. Amy Schumer really can do no wrong. Whether she’s cracking hilarious jokes on comedy specials or killing us with these brutally honest and hilarious quotes in interviews, you just can’t help but love her.