Losing one’s virginity can seem pretty scary, thanks to the television for blowing it out of proportion. There is a moral angle to it but it is completely personal. If one thinks he or she is ready, then they probably are. As far as the physicality of it is concerned, there many misconceptions around it, and they are what we aim to debunk today. Well, at least eight of them.
Number Eight: Make sure you are ready
For many people, fear of the unknown is pretty high. Being nervous the first time is normal, but if you are so anxious that your entire body tenses up, then maybe it is better to wait.
Number Seven: Take a trip to the drug store
Along with condoms, be sure to buy a good quality lubricant. It will reduce friction and ease much of the pain. In case you are using a latex condom (which majority of them are), then do not use an oil-based lube. It can cause the condom to tear or even break. Use a silicone or water-based lube instead.
Number Six: Talk it out with your partner first
It is important that your first time is with someone you trust completely and who genuinely cares about you. If your partner is pushing you to do it despite your concerns, then maybe you should reconsider. Talk to your partner about your feelings and the process itself. It can make the whole experience feel less alien and nerve-wracking.
Number Five: Understand what the hymen is
Your hymen partially covers your vaginal opening and almost every female is born with it. It wears away with age due to normal movement, sports, menstruation, etc. If you are a teenager, some of your hymen is probably still there. When you have intercourse, you will bleed a little as your hymen ruptures but it will not be painful. Any pain you feel will be due to friction.
Number Four: Find out how your vagina is angled
If you understand this, you can help your partner ease inside you. Your vagina is at a 45 degree angle to the floor when you are standing. You can know the angle by using tampons or inserting your finger while you are in the shower.
Number Three: Know about your clitoris
Women rarely come through penetration solely. Clitoral stimulation is the real deal here. If you are scared about the pain, clitoral stimulation or oral sex can help relax your muscles. If you orgasm before penetration, you will feel less pain as endorphins flood your brain.
Number Two: Communicate with your partner
Talk to your partner about safe sex, boundaries and birth control. Try not to be afraid of asking what you want at this time. You could ask him to take it slow, use more lube or move gently. They can all help ease the pain.
Number One: Be relaxed
Pick a time and place when and where you will not be disturbed or caught. De-clutter your space, shut off your phone and clear your mind. Use dim lights, put on some soft music and warm the room so you can feel safe and comfortable. Groom yourself beforehand so you feel comfortable and take a shower so you are clean and relaxed.