20 Terribly Funny Car Jokes

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ericpetersautos.com

Looking for a company who would take my old Ford Fiesta off me for cash, I came across Quick Sell Your Car (I’m planning on something a bit more flashy now that I am retired) and I thought I’d make a relatable post full of terrible Ford jokes. It began as a bit of a relief to be out with the old and in with the new, but then it quickly blossomed into a free for all with jokes about every brand, hand selected from the internet – so don’t be too offended! Keeping it light – and occasionally, a little bit x-rated – here are our top 20 picks for the best car jokes on the net!

Particular apologies if you drive a Fiat or a Ford, we hope your car isn’t too disheartened and I’m sure they’ll forgive us…

20 Terribly Funny Car Jokes

  1. What’s the difference between BMWs and Porcupines?

Porcupines carry their pricks on the outside.

  1. A guy walks into a shop and says: “I’d like a gas cap for my KIA.” The owner thinks for a few seconds and replies: “Ok, that seems like a fair trade.”
  1. What is the similarity between a Ford car and a bathtub?

You don’t want to get out of either of them whilst other people are watching…

  1. Why is a Chevrolet an environmentally-friendly car? Because the engine never starts.
  1. How does a driver obtain spare parts for his Fiat?

He follows another one around, some parts will eventually fall off anyway.

  1. What is printed on the last pages of a Fiat service manual?

Bus and Train timetables.

  1. Have you seen the latest Fiat anti-theft gadget?

They enlarged the logo.

  1. Two blondes talk: “Elizabeth, did you know that your O O O O car is actually called an Audi?”
  1. What’s the good thing about Fords?

They come out of the factory with the problem already circled.

  1. Why did Ford make a new heated tailgate?

So your hands stay warm when you’re pushing it back home in the winter.

  1. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?

Park it between two Fords.

  1. Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?

The Old Volks home!

  1. Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?

He’s all right now.

  1. What’s a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
  1. The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of a new car.
  1. A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Yesterday you took my license away and today you expect me to show it to you!”

  1. A truck driver doesn’t notice the ‘low bridge ahead’ sign and gets stuck under the bridge. Eventually a police officer arrives. He says to the truck driver, “Got stuck, huh?”

The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”

  1. I had a car crash the other day. A dwarf got out the other car and said, ‘I’m not happy’. To which I replied, ‘Which one are you then?’
  1. What do you call a Norwegian prostitute? A Fjord Escort.
  1. According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives. The other 9 percent own a Volkswagen.
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