RIP iPod Classic, Discontinued for 6 and Watch

RIP iPod Classic, Discontinued for 6 and Watch

iPod Classic NewsCourtesy of

It brings us great sorrow to announce that the iPod Classic has passed away. The revolutionary music player was discovered in his Cupertino home yesterday, face down on the Genius Bar with a completely dead battery. AppleCare pronounced him dead on the scene, and an autopsy revealed signs of water damage. He was almost 13 years old. Younger friends of the device, including Shuffle, Nano, and Touch, suspect murder, and are accusing Apple of the crime.

“He was like a father figure to us, and he wasn’t the type to drink like that. Maybe once or twice, he drank a little too much and started to shuffle, but he never crashed,” Nano said mournfully. “Do you really think it’s a coincidence that this happened right when the new iPhone 6’s and Apple Watch were unveiled? Apple has been trying to replace him since the very beginning.”

Though officials originally disregarded the claim as nothing more than a rumor, they have uncovered startling connections between the iPod Classic’s discontinuation and the debut of the new hardware, both of which occurred on Tuesday. For one thing, the iPhone 6 and the iPhone 6 Plus both have an increased battery life that supports 50 and 80 hours of music playback, respectively, while the iPod Classic only supported 30 hours. Additionally, the new devices let users add up to 6 family members onto their account, so they can finally share music with each other even if they are not the cardholder who originally purchased it. Officials are also looking at T-Mobile’s involvement in the case, as the company just announced that their data plans for the new devices will include free, unlimited music streaming.

The new Apple Watch may be an accessory in the murder, as it has some exciting music features that may have contributed to the iPod Classic’s death. This smart watch allows you to play your favorite tunes right from your wrist, as well as use it as a remote control for the music on your iPhone.

As the investigations continue, friends and family of the iPod Classic try to remember the good times; going jogging with him, letting him DJ all their parties, and traveling around the world together. The esteemed device was the first portable media player from Apple. Although we are excited about the new gadgets that have been unveiled, we will never forget how the click-wheeled hero bravely paved the way for them and changed the music industry forever.

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