A cover song is a new performance of a recording done by another artist. If we see no need for the remade version, then they get a ticket onto this list.
Attack Attack: I Kissed a Girl (Original by Katty Perry). Katty Perry is a girl who kissed a girl has a little oops moment about it. If this group of head-banging men sing the song…are we supposed to be surprised? Talk about picking the wrong thing to do and doing it in the absolutely worst way. You can’t get through the first half of the music without a deep desire to shave all their heads.
Kid Rock: Feel Like Making Love (Original by Bad Company). We can brush this off by agreeing we didn’t expect too much. Kid Rock has been known to give too much or too little of a performance almost every single time. Capturing his most perfect is a gift. Although not such a happy gift like discovering unicorns exist. It will be more like realizing there are happy-go-lucky vampires in the world with saddening imagination. All we can say is… the plane looked nice!
Gun’s N’ Roses: Knocking On Heavens Door (Original by Bob Dylan). It’s a song about heaven and therefore required to make everyone calm and happy. But if you listen to the guns and roses version, you can’t fight an overwhelming fear that comes over you. Suddenly, heaven is not as inviting. Your every thought is fixed on the tones of their voices, which pitch upwards for such a long time your hair stands on edge.
Christina Aguilera, Mya, Pink, Lil Kim: Lady Marmalade (Original by Patti Labelle). Who knew a lot of women in one video would bring so much confusion? Granted, the background seemed pretty. Not to mention far too colorful for our eyes to adjust to before the end of the video. But that’s all there is. The original music had a classy air of the disco era where everything was fun and flirty. They were allowed to wear their spunky tights and shoulder bulges and all the feathers they could get.
Our foursome, however, took away the one element of the music and turned it into the worst bedtime story. It was no longer about women empowerment but a showcase of shockingly repetitive movements.
Limp Bizkit: Faith (Original by George Michael). Ever heard the expression, ‘Leave it at that!’ Probably yes although it’s probably not a common expression. But it is the distinct desire you get when you watch the remade version by Limp Bizkit. You start to wonder, why they bothered? Why didn’t they just leave it at that?
Cat power: I can’t get no satisfaction (Original by The Rolling Stones). Who would want to reproduce anything done by the Rolling Stones? Not that they are absolute perfection, but who would leave that reproduction in the hands of Chan Marshall. She completely demolished the original. In fact you would have had no idea what she was singing about if you didn’t bother to research. The original was upbeat and funky with an ingenuity that only comes from the proper mixing of a great night and the best alcohol. Cat power only managed to look completely drunk.
Marilyn Manson: Sweet Dream (Are made of this) (Original by Eurythmics). The original record could be one of the world’s greatest hits. It breaks the barrier of language and culture and brings forward the question of life and its sorrowful trails. A great piece of music with a deep message while at the same time making you want to jump up and dance. Truly, It’s really deep. But when Marilyn Manson took it for a tour in his mind, we were left both surprised and agitated.
Travis: Baby One More Time (Original by Britney Spears). It’s gone! It’s all gone…isn’t it; our concern for someone who has gone through a breakup. When Britney sang, it made so much sense to have her dancing in the hallway. We loved it. And even though it didn’t quite make sense, we cared enough to listen to the end and dance along. The music and the movements went too well together we kept listening to it over the years. Travis tried his hardest at an emotional impact but I suppose he loved the song more than the message.
UB40: The Way You Do The Things You Do (Original by The Temptations). When they say old is gold, they mean it. We have to put this line in this list somewhere. Yet, sometimes something is so golden we can’t resist but have it. Therefore, because the music was gold to begin with, UB40’s rendition was not so horrible; but not so wonderful either.
Artists From Haiti: We Are The World (Original by Supergroup USA). While the message on Haiti was good in fact necessary at the time, we couldn’t help but notice all the ego’s jostling for position! It lacked the vocal grace of the Supergroup and instead attempted to put a noose over all those celebrities unsuccessfully.